Running Scared

Happy Halloween runners! It's my favourite holiday of the year.

It's also school's favourite time to hit you with every assignment and responsibility at once, unfortunately. As such I've been a pile of apathy, hairpulling, laptop-techinician-ing and all-around ineffective 23 year old. Hence the lack of posts (and obviously the lack of runs) in the last two days.

Speaking of school, I believe today marks the offical end of the evaluative period of this blog - I wonder if my motivation to run will fall apart without the mutually reinforcing need to post on this blog. I would like to not think so; it's been hopeful period for me insofar as believing in my ability to get in better shape, but I also have an extensive history of only briefly succeeding with this sort of motivation.

But that's an aside. Tonight was a good run. A hard run though. In Toronto again, and so I didn't really know how to plan out my route. I tried to make it not so treacherously hill-infested as last time and failed miserably. I ended up running up and down one 2.5 km hill and then back up and down it a couple blocks down. Toronto hills are expansive. Knowing this though, I only planned out a 5k.

It was nice to run through rich neighbourhoods though and see all the magnificent decorations. Huge displays of cartoon nightmare characters and likewise looking kids everywhere. The only problem was that I way overdressed - a tech jacket shell and a knit hoodie. I kept running and trying to figure out awkard combinations of wearing them that would make me cool as possible. In the end I managed to shove the entire sweater in one of the coat pockets (the pocketspace actually goes all the way to the chest) and sort of only having it zipped at the bottom. I looked like a right idiot, but at least I could stay cool enough not to look even stupider (read: huffing and puffing like a geriatric). That's one problem with Toronto - there's lots of people everywhere when you're running. I can't keep the appearance of being and old pro at this up that often!

The stats: 5.1 kilometers, 29.50 minutes, 2 huge hills.
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Albums bumped while running: The Strokes Is This It?

Stay truely terrifying!

Born To Do It

There were the first signs of snow today floating around the air. Nothing that would stick to the ground, but enough to put the fear of god in me as far as how much longer I can keep doing this without having to buy all sorts of special gear. Though once I get out there, it's fine. I packed mittens this time (shout-outs-to-girlfriend's-Oma) but only wore them for a bit. What's good about it is that you have to get a good run going fairly quickly to not feel too cold. And then it just feels great.

Anyways, I did 5.7 kilometers tonight, in 33 minutes, which is basically my time from yesterday.

So the new maxim for this blog follows: small increments will reap great rewards.

I didn't see many fellow runners out this evening, which was interesting. I think it had to do with the aforementioned winter-fear. Last night when I was out around the same time (about 7:30) I must have run past at least eight, probably more, runners. I actually love every time I encounter another one - it always gives the isolated activity (which is a primary aspect of why I enjoy it) a sense of community, but more importantly, it makes you want to focus on your running form and really put it on for a few minutes. And once you get started into a run like that, its actually uncomfortable to slow down your heart rate too quickly.

This effect is especially true if the runners you cross paths with are really athletic and beautiful. It's part "I could look like that" part "jesus I better look good for a second here".

Albums bumped while running: Capsa and Rusko's Fabric Live 37.

Stay true.

Run Into Flowers

Had such a great run tonight. Almost made up for not going yesterday. Definitely had some guilt about that, failing my five times last week goal. But it's a process, getting into a routine like this, and sometimes life just interferes. Staying up too late for drunken talks = wanting to lie around for just an hour or two before family commitments the next day.

But tonight was really good. I mapped a route for 5.526 kilometers. Had my watch on for the run, but it was securely fastened under my breathable shell, and I decided to leave it there and just run on instinct. My route took me essentially close to around the entire perimeter of my uptown. I got to run by the universities, the park, my girlfriend's parents' house...oh, and then (read: somewhat terrible planning) up the longest incline to the highest peak in my neighbourhood, and then down a steep, windy, wet-leaf covered residential hill. But it was a good run.

I mean, I got back, and I didn't feel exhausted. I felt invigorated in a way. I was able to sprint most of the last stretch, and while there were a couple times that I slowed to a crawl, I never walked. In fact, I should mention that in all of these runs so far, I've never needed to slow for a walk. It's pretty incredible to feel your body respond to dedication so quickly - the progress is really reinforcing. As someone who generally feels so uncomfortable and at odds with the various malfunctions of their body, it's nice to appreciate what it can do for once.

Albums bumped while running: M83's Dead Cites, Red Seas and Lost Ghosts

Stay true.

28 Minutes

The best part about starting to run is that you set a new record every time you go out, even if you have to be tricky in rationalizing it.

Today I went back to a distance based objective. Set out a route of 5 kilometers (I would give you all the decimals, but my girlfriend closed the pedometer window, despite me asking her not to) and timed it. Tried to not pay too close attention to my time, just checked it every once in a while to see how long it had actually been, compared to how long it felt like.

And as the title of this post implies, it took me 28 minutes. Again, there were some decimals, but I haven't figured my father's old watch out completely yet, and I pressed the wrong button. So again, the distance based objective led to me pushing myself further, as it felt more tangible, and like I could better judge my gastank on how much further as opposed to how much longer.

During the final stretch of my run (just as I was getting to a hard-pumping part of the later portions of that LCD Soundsystem album I always run to, but had never heard before) my endorphins kicked in hardcore, and I was able to sprint faster than I had the whole time. I should have kept going with it, but partially it was the glee of getting near the finish line, and it was too tempting not to stop and check my time.

Tried to sprint more in general this way, as my superfit roommate gave me some advice on muscle growth from running. Also think that I may start trying to integrate time goals with distance goals more readily. Any suggestions running people?

Mostly I'm proud that I went running on a saturday night.

After doing homework all day!

Albums bumped while running: LCD Soundsystem's 45:33.

Stay true.

The Little Heart Beats So Fast

Another wicked bout of insomnia last night. Was up until 6 am for no reason. Was going to let it destroy all my plans for the day (and indeed I did not get any marking done) but after another meeting for my group project I decided that damnit, I was getting five runs in this week.

Headed out once it was dark, which is easily my favourite time to run, and just after it finished raining apparently, which is also another favourite of mine. I always fear that I will be too cold, but about 7 minutes of pumping blood cures that really quickly.

Again I went with the time goal, wanting to run for at least half an hour. My pace was pretty modest for the first 10 minutes, and while I did push myself a lot more for the middle third, I never felt like I hit any of my previous highs of exertion. But I just felt like I needed easing backing into the routine. It's ridiculous how easy even just two days off made it to throw off the rhythm. I saw how easily it would be to give things up like I normally do.

So anyways, I did a 31 minute run, and the distance I covered was 5.196 kilometers. So even though I felt like I wasn't pushing myself really (except for the last 5 minutes which were killer) I actually shaved some time off, and moreover, was able to do 5k with less effort.

When I got back I collapsed on the chair outside on our deck. I could feel the blood pumping in my head, in my chest, exactly to the 4/4 beat of the music in my headphones. Talk about a pacemaker.

Albums bumped while running: The Field's From Here We Go Sublime.



Stay true.

Rest/Stress Part 2

My plans to run today were destroyed by a recent tendency to hit the snooze button for an hour and then just turn it off and go back to sleep. I'm a long time insomniac of sorts - or perhaps just on a different sleep cycle. My normal bedtime is 4:00 am, and even when I have to get up early, I find it difficult to go bedwise any earlier. So I will get 8 hours of sleep if its possible (or 9 or so like I did today) but if I have commitments, sometimes as little as 4 hours a night. It's probably one of the biggest factors interfering with me getting active, as I usually have to use what is left with the day (as I can't really work at night anymore despite being up that late anyways) to get my external responsibilities completed.

And that's what happened today. Hours and hours straight of reading rhetorical theory on style and figuration, drinking bodums of year-old coffee that I found. This led up to my group meeting, and by the time I was done that it was...well, now.

At least I had a bit of a jog home, despite my lack of proper running shoes and wearing tight jeans. Tomorrow is another day. And if I'm good, I can still get 5 runs in this week.

Plus my left leg is feeling aces again.

Stay true.

Edit: All of my time stamps are messed up! I must have accidentally set the wrong time zone. This makes me look lazy in light of this post. I am not giving up on running at 8:00 at night, I'm giving up at 11:00.

Day of Rest

More like day of stress. Having been at school from essentially the time I woke up to nighttime as it is now, I haven't found the time to get out for a run today. As usual, there's the constant threat of being crushed beneath the stacks of reading that need to get done this week. There's also another wave of marking coming my way, which I'm sure will motivate me to run, as I will want to do anything but read undergrad assignments. I'm also just generally feeling discouraged schoolwise, as the ratio of negative-to-positive feedback has felt like the absolute inverse of my previous education. But at least I'm starting to see this whole running thing as a break from that anxiety, as opposed to a whole other layer of it.

Anyways, I hadn't planned on getting out today in the first place. After yesterday's 5k achievement, I noticed that the toe that was bothering me the other day was really hurting me. Like, almost causing me to limp when I took a stroll to the LCBO. My left knee too felt pretty stiff, and today has felt even tighter, so I figured I may be pushing myself too quick. Back at it tomorrow though, taking it slow to start maybe.

At least I got my usual daily hour or so of walking in though.

Stay true.

Ride Around Shining

Well I just finished really thoroughly playing around with bloggers features, adding gadgets/minor layout tweaks/etc. Not fully complete, but I like the direction its heading better than how it was.

Today I achieved my goal of running for over 30 minutes. I ran for 33 minutes and something-in-change-seconds. I decided not to map a route out for myself, but rather just go out with the notion of pushing my lung capacity that far. I’ve been doing some reading today (links to follow) and was interested to find out that largely the capacity to push your muscles one distance or another already exists, but your lungs will sell you short. And I treat my lungs like shit.

I’m not sure exactly how far I ran. Okay, holy shit, I just took a minute to do a very rough estimate (again, lots of going through the park and random windy roads that don’t translate well to google maps marking) and it looks like I did about 5 kilometers today! I actually felt like today was an easier run than what I did yesterday, as that was some of the advice I read and tried to follow. I guess I’m just learning pacing. What’s strange is that I felt the time-based objective to be harder to work with, as I couldn’t pinpoint a distance I needed to get to as a goal. That lets me know when I can start putting it on. Or maybe its because it’s a more immediate seeming goal?

But apparently not knowing was good for me. Or at least good for my progress. I think being able to run 5 kilometers maybe puts me slightly above absolute beginner status. I mean, that’s the type of race you’re supposed to sign up for to start, as a goal to work towards. I think I want to work on sustaining my running for longer distances/times first though, before I work on speed.

Anyways, some helpful resources I came across from reading other people’s running blogs today:

100 Beginner Running Tips

Top 10 Questions Asked By Beginning Runners

A Letter to Mrs. McCarthy (3 Parts)

Links to the running blogs of others for inspiration.

Shout out to Zen Habits' Beginner’s Guide to Running that made me feel alright about not to knowing everything just yet and for providing the majority of those links I just posted.

Albums bumped while running: Lil’ Wayne’s Tha Carter III, Clipse’s Hell Hat No Fury

Stay true.

Dancing in the Rain

Success! I just got back from my first run of the new week, and set a new precedent for myself. I ran approximately 4.152 kilometers, in approximately 23 minutes. The distance is approximate because the pedometer isn’t the most accurate for figuring out running through the park for one section. The time because I forgot to look at my iPod’s clock right as I started.

The lack of posts the last two days is indicative of the lack of running. Saturday I spent smashing my forehead repeatedly into my girlfriend’s computer. A box that restarts every few minutes that Word is open (and then occasionally gets stuck in restarting-loops) proved not very conducive to writing an assignment. Of course it had no problem with like three hours of Top Chef being watched on it the night before. By the time my nighttime commitments rolled around I hadn’t found the time to get out. But to be fair, my plans were going to the Halloween Haunt at Canada’s Wonderland – rollercoasters and haunted mazes are just too tempting.

Sunday ended up being a bit of a shitfest of getting home, getting the assignment done so I could get my portion to my group, and then running off to my friend’s former house (and local show venue) for a birthday concert lineup of hardcore/folk punk/stoner metal/etc.

But I’m feeling good this today, as I still got more runs in last week than I have in the last five years probably. Moreover, I woke up to find out I’ve taken off five Thanksgiving pounds and am now down to a more manageable 173 pounds. Some of this is probably just the usual variance, but it feels like progress anyways. I’m also noting a general sense of endurance and more strength in my legs already, even when I’m not running.

I’ve generally been good about eating lately too, aside from some 1 am nachos the other night and a combo of Indian buffet lunch and pizza slice dinner today.

Tonight I was running to Skream’s BBC Essential Mix, and I was noting how good dubstep mixes are to run to. They very often feel like the have the same kind of structure you can hear in those Nike-running-albums I’ve spoken about before. They’re sort of ebbing, with warm ups, plateaus, cool downs, even within a certain larger movement of the mix. I realized this is because they are designed for dancing, and then realized maybe that’s why I’m enjoying running thus far. I love any excuse to just listen to music solidly for an extended time, and love to respond to it physically. There’ve been shows where I danced far past the point of endurance I’ve taken myself to with running so far. My roommate told me I looked like I’d just been at a rave, coming in with blaring headphones, sweaty hair and an adidas jacket.

He also told me that some scientific studies said you need to run for over a half hour to increase lung capacity and endurance. So I guess that’s a new goal.

Albums bumped while running: Skream's BBC Essential Mix.

Stay true.

"New opportunities, what can I say..."

Just got back from my run a few minutes ago. At first I thought it was going to be too easy, but then my route back home was a tour de force of steep hills.

I was actually only running for about 20 minutes this time, but I feel like that is still progress, since I did approximately the same amount (time adjustments for sharp incline difficulty) in less time, and moreover, with less exertion and more endurance. I mean, I felt good at the end still, despite my exhaustion, not like I had pushed myself to my absolute limits. Which is probably a healthier attitude than expecting to give more than I really can every time.

It's strange. Having grown up a chubby-to-fat kid (depending on the year), I built up an armor of cynicism towards these kind of activities that is still just starting to break down. I'm still surprised every time that I enjoy getting out. I often feel like I must look ridiculous, like I'm jogging like a senior citizen taking those baby-ankle-pop-steps, but then I catch my reflection and realize that I really am running like any normal person.

I'm hoping to be able to run 5 or 6 kilometers by the end of next week. That's probably an absurd goal, so I wont oversell it.

Albums bumped while running: Dizzee Rascal's Boy In Da Corner.

Stay True.

"Time to make my pay..."

"...but put some away for an off-beat day."
- Dizzee Rascal

Yesterday a sudden case of remarking all the assignments for the class I am a Teacher's Assistant for results in me not getting any running done. Spent the day adjusting my rubrics until it was time to catch my Greyhound down to Toronto to visit my girlfriend. By the time we had eaten and gotten back from Downtown, it was already 11:00 at night.

Also everyone has been telling me that I shouldn't run more than five times a week. My thighs felt like rocks made of pain yesterday - I actually wanted to be running around, or just moving quickly, as when I walked slowly (read: down stairs) it was sometimes excruciating.

Anyways, I'm about to make up for it (or not be having a resting day, depending) by going out for my first run in Canada's biggest city. Using the pedometer again, I've mapped out a route of 3.263 kms. Probably a bit less than my last run, but this is a hill-infested area, so I imagine it may be more difficult anyways. Plus it was just sort of hard figuring out a route that made sense/I could remember.

A report to follow when I return.

I was very good yesterday. I ate papaya salad and fresh rolls for lunch, sushi for dinner, Thai-style pineapple shake for dessert.

Alternatively, I was very bad yesterday about spending too much money at asian restaurants.

Stay True.

Streets Is Rough Out Here

Today I woke up to find the damage of Thanksgiving weekend: a three pound increase. Thus putting me at 5 ’10, 178 this morning, the heaviest I’ve been in a while. Of course, for some reason I thought that I should put a halfhearted “last hurrah” on top of it and scratched the itch I’ve had for Harvey's for the last month. I got a grilled chicken sandwich though, so that should count for something.

Nevertheless, I got out for my run when I came home from my group meeting. It was about 8:30 and it was starting to spit again, so I had to substitute my Nike track jacket for a MEC waterproof breathable shell. Also, because my headphones are being replaced under warranty, I was running with DJing headphones on, which actually turned out to be pretty great, aside from having to account for its’ insanely long cord.

I felt really proud of my run tonight. Using this handy device that allows you to use Google Maps as a pedometer, I set out a run of about 2 kilometers that would take me from my house, around the large part of my uptown neighbourhood and back. According to the calculations I am about to do, I actually ended up running…3.689 kilometers. This took me about 26 minutes.

I know this because I was jogging to LCD Soundsystem’s 45:33. It’s an album from a series Nike commissioned where artists wrote music for a run. I know Aesop Rock did one as well, and I’m not sure who else really. It’s an absolute banger to run to. More on it later I think.

The whole time during the latter portion of my run, I was essentially doing smaller and smaller concentric circles around blocks surrounding my house, thus allowing me to set modest goals (“only that much more”), achieve them and then do more. Pushing myself that much felt really great. I kept thinking about what I’d write here, fantasizing about reaching my goal so early of being able to run the full 45 minutes and 33 seconds of the LCD Soundsystem album. But I wasn’t breathing like an asthmatic this time, and I found it a lot easier to keep pushing myself. I really felt a sense of ownership over what I was doing, if that makes sense, and I’d actually been relatively excited for going out for the run beforehand. I was looking forward to it.

Jesus I hope I don’t become one of those middle-aged guys “taking life one day at a time”, running in the park in obscene spandex pants.

Albums bumped while running: LCD Soundsystem - 45:33

Stay True.

Stay True

This is the beginning of my running blog. Moreover, it is the continuation of my blog that is an assignment for my class on the intersection of autobiography and Internet media studies. For some background, random diatribes, and thoughts on the assignment thus far, go here.

My goal for this blog is to write about my experience trying to become that asshole who runs every day. I have spent the last five years getting into better health, having lost 65 pounds at my best. This was achieved primarily through dietary reform though, not the addition of physical exercise.

I am not very good at running, because I have a problem with my feet that leads to me getting no shock absorption. I’m also not good about wearing my orthodics. In fact, today I realized it’s been so long since I’ve seen them that I do not know where they are anymore. More on this later. You know, background details, health concerns, diet, etc.

Today I started by getting “serious” and buying some Nike shorts and some vaguely fancy socks to start running in. I am using a pair of New Balance cross-trainers otherwise, and thus far my Mishka windbreaker because it has a chest pocket that fits my iPod, though it’s probably far too expensive and fashion-purposed to be running in. Anyways, there’s nothing like accumulating commitments like starting a blog and expensive workout shorts to convince yourself that you’re actually going to do something.

Today I ran to my voting station (and voted Liberal – Canadian here – for the first time ever) and then ran to the bank to deposit a cheque (wish I was unable to do because I forgot wallet). I then ran home. This was a pretty fair distance, and largely I found myself not having to stop, except for things like very busy streets with long lights that made me feel ridiculous “jogging on the spot”. It was about 30 minutes of running/voting/being forgetful, and distance-wise maybe, shit I don’t know…from what I can tell from some very haphazard google maps finger scaling, about 2 kilometers. Some elevation changes, one fairly steep hill.

By the end I was breathing like someone going into anaphylactic shock.

Albums bumped while running: A-Trak’s Dirty South Dance, LCD Soundsystem’s Sounds of Silver.

Stay true.